My weekend

Sorry guys this will be kinda a short post, pretty busy today but I had a pretty darn good weekend. I did have a Friday night date with the guy, Joe and things went really, really well.. At least I thought anyhow.. But I spoke with him yesterday for all of 10 minutes and he seemed very nonchalant and quick to get off the phone, not to mention I called him and not the other way around. But I guess if he did not want to talk to me he could have just not answered the phone. As he knew it was me when he answered. This is the part about dating I really hate, I have no idea how to keep things casual in my mind.. I mean don't get me wrong it is not like I am declaring any undying love or anything like that but it is hard for me to just try to keep things light in my mind. I have such insecurity issues that it is not even funny and I have no idea what to do to correct these issues with myself. I mean all I think about is what I may have did wrong, said wrong, acted wrong or even looked wrong. I am so insecure with myself that it is not even funny. I know that is surprising and really in a group settings I have no problems but one on one is a totally different issue. Not to mention I still feel very fat as well as now I have nasty hanging skin to deal with, Boy I sound like I will never be happy with myself and who knows maybe that will be the case but I am really trying hard to not be like that .

Now on to my class reunion. I had a pretty good time. I mean as best as I could have anyways. I mingled as much as I could to try and figure out everyone. I was really pleasantly surprised that there were allot of people who knew me and well quite frankly I had no idea who they were, I keep having to look in the old yearbook to refresh my memory.. lol.. I guess I was more popular then I thought I was. Everyone commented to me on my hair and how pretty it was, made me feel good. I forgot that all my high school years I had short hair so everyone was really surprised.

Sunday however I was wiped out. Having slept very little Friday and Saturday night and dealing with insomnia all week long it caught up with me. I ended up taking a 4 hour nap in the afternoon but forced myself to go out and mow most of my lawn and trim Sunday after I woke up. My body felt like I had been hit by a truck.. I have no idea why that was as I did not do anything all that physical that would have made me feel that way. I mean I barely even danced on Saturday night. However I did drink quite a bit so maybe that had its effect on me. I know, I know I should not drink but it is not something I do very often at all so I don't feel too bad about it.

Otherwise the diet is going well .. I have controlled my eating and my stomach is back to normal with only allowing small amounts of food. I have increased my protein and have been really darn good about taking my vitamins, now I just need to get focused on my exercise. Hopefully after Tuesday when my cousin comes back and picks up her dogs that I have been watching I can start concentrating more on that.

Talk to you all soon .

PS I guess this wasn't such a short post after all.