3 weeks today !!

Well everyone it has been 3 weeks today since I have had my surgery!!! I would like to say that time is flying but this past week I really can't say that. I am so looking forward to having all my restrictions lifted. I scoured my book do's & don't on bariatric surgery looking for anything that I could add at the 3 week point but found only 1 thing and that is.. drum roll here. .... I am now allowed to eat Melba Toast... lol.. I did not even know what Melba toast was, when I went to the grocery store I could not find it and it took 2 employees to figure it out also. As it turns out it is kinda like a cracker and actually pretty good tasting, of course, dirt would probably taste good to me right now..lol.. But it gives me that Crunch I am missing rather then all the mushy food I have to eat so I am not complaining..

So far I am not regretting this surgery at all, I have had only small problems directly related to the weight loss surgery itself ( mostly Gas & Constipation) and the other problems that I have had are because of the anaesthetic rather then the WLS. (weight loss surgery) My only other issue is just with my mind and my food addiction I really think that I am in "mourning" over my loss. I know, I know, it sounds stupid but I don't know of any other way to put it. Food was a very important thing in my life , it got me through good times, bad times, kept me company and never let me down and now I don't have it to turn too. My sister found a group in the paper that meets on Thursday nights about food recovery addictions and I am going to be going to my first meeting this week. I am anxious to see what it is all about and to hear other peoples stories, I am sure that I will relate in some way and hopefully get some ideas on some better ways to deal with the issue.

I have also realized something today that made me understand how easy it is for people to get addicted to things. such as alcohol, drugs etc.. Last night I had a terrible night, I was restless, agitated, could not sleep, felt like I was gonna jump out of my body and was just plain miserable. I was not sure as to why that was, but it suddenly dawned on me. I had not taken any pain medication last night. I have not taken any pain medication at all during the day now for probably the past week and even very little before that but I have been taking it before I go to bed at night as sometimes it is uncomfortable for me to sleep and well the drugs helped me sleep better ( Ultram & Lortab, Both I Believe are considered narcotics) so anyways last night I forgot to take it and it was one of the most miserable nights I have had since I got home. That just leads me to believe that even after just 2 weeks of being home I had already gotten dependant on using those drugs as an aid. Now please keep in mind I am not telling you that I am now a drug addict, just that I now see how people can become addicted to things very easily without even realizing that it is happening. I myself will not be using any more of the pain medication as sleeping aids anymore.

Anyways, this post is not meant to be downer at all because in fact I am doing really well.. Knock on wood... I am just sharing with you everything that I am learning as I go along. Every week will be getting better & better while I continue to learn more about my body and mind.

PS. Please be sure to read todays quote as I think it really can hit home with allot of people. I know it sure did with me