Weigh day Week 10

Well I did better then last week .. Thank God.

Last week - Weight GAIN of 2 lbs - Total loss was -59lbs

This week - Weight LOSS of -5.5lbs - Total loss so far -64.5lbs

Well last night my sister & I did the 5k Huckleberry Hustle .. What an experience that was.. I know I am gonna sound like a big fat whiner here but I can't help it. This is the way I feel/felt and I must be honest on this blog. It was a miserable experience for me. The weather was muggy and hot which anyone who knows me knows that I can't stand hot weather. The course was 80% running on grass trails (uneven ground) with a mix of gravel/sand in areas and some dirt roads. Running on the grass was not easy for me, and I swear it felt like it was weighing me down, my stride is not the biggest and I don't really pick up my feet too high so every step in the grass felt like it was catching my feet and weighing them down. I also made the mistake of drinking a protein shake before the race, this caused me incredible gut problems. Won't be doing that anymore.

The race really did nothing but make me very depressed, I was trying my hardest and yet it was like I was standing still. People who were as overweight as I and people who were much older then me were passing me up . I have to admit that after the race I even cried a bit because I was miserable and upset that I did not do very good, in fact my time was worse then other times I have had. I am sure that the only problem I am facing is the problem that I am having with myself and my mind. I get frustrated that I can't do things and it depresses me badly because in my mind there should be no reason that I can't do it. In my mind I am already a perfect size 10 and when I get knocked back to reality it hurts. I Know, I know I should be thinking other ways, that it is a great accomplishment that I finished etc, etc. and not to mention that I really went about this whole running thing the wrong way.. I mean I went from doing regular walking down the road no fuss, no muss walking, to doing a 5k race. I kinda skipped all the training in the middle and just jumped in. I think that after this weekends race if I decide to keep trying to do this running stuff(and believe me when I say the jury is still very out on this) that I will revamp my training, start doing a things in a little bit of a different way and work up to the big stuff, maybe by doing that I will feel better about what I am doing. I mean having little bits of successful accomplishments would be better then having large letdowns.

Well anyways Thanks for letting me babble on and complain.. ( I really don't like to be this whiny) Tomorrow will be another race day and of course I will do my best and I promise that I won't complain.

Have a great weekend.