Life's New Journey Chapter 1, Page 1

Well here it is, my first post.. Surgery day Tuesday, April 29th the beginning of what will hopefully be a brand new life, one filled with laughter, excitement and a new healthy body to enjoy. With this post and all others hereafter I am going to try to take you thru my life as a fat person, the trials and tribulations, the changes that will occur and what I am striving for in the future. I hope that you will all continue to join me and post a comment here and there to help me keep motivated and to make sure that I succeed in this new journey





As a child I was always a little bigger then the other kids, I can remember being teased even as far back as my elementary days. As I grew older the weight increased, in junior high school I can recall being on diets many times, starving myself over the weekends hoping that on Monday morning I would be a little more slimmer then I was when I left on Friday. My high School days were about the same, oh I had friends, many of them popular and many who were not but I was always known as "good ole reliable Michele, fat & jolly" and still pretty much known as that today). I always wanted to be noticed, have a boyfriend, go to dances but was basically never asked. I could never compete against all those skinny more popular girls. You know those girls who make you feel bad about yourself to make themselves feel better. Looking back it is all so stupid and looking at the picture I wonder why I was teased so much I looked like a normal kid and I certainly would love to be that weight today.



Growing up my parents were rather strict to me. I know some of my siblings would not agree to that but my parents were strict, specially when you compare it to what all my other friends were doing. My siblings are all considerable older and it like we were raised by 2 set of parents but that is a whole other story for another time. But being that they were strict and I did spend allot of time at home.. Food, I think, became a fun thing for me to do and not to mention the rule at the dinner table was if you took it, you ate it!!! And there were no exceptions to the rule and one that is still ingrained in my head. Please don't get me wrong I am not blaming my parents, I have the majority of the blame with my problems today but I think that is where my lifetime struggle started.





After graduation, my beloved father passed on, which began a new set of grief for me. One that I consoled with with food. I gained considerable weight and then it just kept going!! I have at many times fought battles against the poundage, there have been many times I would lose weight on whatever new diet that was but the result has always been the same.. Gain all the weight back plus 20-25 lbs more which of course sends me into a depression. A depression that turns to food , because in my mind food is good, food is comforting and food never will let you down.. Good Ole Reliable food.





I can sit here and type on and on about my life but we would be here till next Christmas and I would not want to lose you, my readers on the first day. So I will now skip ahead a bit and talk about when I first started thinking about having the surgery. That it all began back in 1999, I was over 100lb overweight and having troubles. I went to a bariatric center and spoke with all the doctors, it was then I realized that this was not an option for me. I felt that I could try harder, that the surgery was a lazy persons way out, I could do it and so forth and so on and I did for awhile but of course gained it all back.. For years after I worked at it and then in 2005 I thought I was ready to get medical help . Once again I went for consultations, I really felt that I was ready for it. Unfortunately the insurance company did not agree and I was denied. This had a devastating effect on me for a time. It felt hopeless, so much weight to lose and well I was not getting any younger, going on 35, never married, no boyfriend, and started to withdraw from life, embarrassed about myself, limited my social time to only situations that I would be in surrounded by friends and family. After a while I rallied back figured that the denial was a sign that once again I must get motivated, exercise, try and eat right !! I lost 80lbs that time, went on a vacation of a lifetime and enjoyed myself but in the back of mind I am thinking to myself 80lbs great but I am still fat I still have 80 more pounds to go, that was very depressing and then it started happening, the weight started increasing and here we are 2 years later + the 80lbs and another 20 more. I have also started having some major medical issues, Type II diabetes, joint disorders, bladder issues, deeper depressions, thyroid trouble, gallbladder issues, and the list goes on and on. So at this point I decided to give the surgery another thought. I had new insurance, I had all my documentation from doctors showing all my medically supervised diets for the past 2 years. I set up my appointments, jumped thru all the hoops and this has lead me to today.. Surgery day.





Please don't get me wrong the process was far more complicated specially when you factor in the mental aspect of it, am I choosing the right surgery, this is FOREVER, can I do it, can I stay committed. It did take allot of research on my part, allot of soul searching and I am glad to say that I am very comfortable with my choice. I am ready to start this new book, make a difference in my body. I am ready to begin to feel like a normal weight person, not a person that people look at with disgust, not a person that will be passed by in an aisle and given a much wider berth then needed, as if my obesity is contagious. I am ready to get healthy and make the changes that need to be made to make sure that I use this new tool (that is right, this is just a tool not a magic pill) to my fullest advantage and make sure I appreciate and experience all that life has to offer to the fullest from this day forward..... Life's New Journey Chapter 1 page 1, so please read the book with me, post your comments, opinions, and your support will be truly appreciated.





My next post, God willing, will not be till my return from the hospital but I do have a special request for you all.. Show me your support and send an email to me at the hospital. I would love to hear from you..




Here is the link


http://www.hurleymc.com/?id=432&sid=1



Till next time .. MEchele